Free Yourself from Others [Zen]
My friend said to me the other day, “Parents always want a son or a daughter. They never want the person that happened to be their son or daughter.”
Meaning : people always have this image in their head about somebody else’s character and rarely accept somebody else just the way they are.
Sometimes people even enforce their image to somebody, and when they have resistance, they said, “I don’t like you, you’re not what i imagine in my head.”
And the funny things is, a lot of people that want to fulfill those images that created by others. They are not completely free because their choices are limited by perception by others.
Free yourself from your peers’ opinions, views and all that they think you should be.
Before it’s too late.
July 29th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
sometimes i do care about what people think about me… but some other times… i don’t even hear what they say, coz i believe that i do have my own part of life
July 30th, 2008 at 11:39 am
yeah should we care about it? people just see what they see
July 30th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Free ourselves from being afraid of what other people might think..
Open ourselves for input from other people..
I’m still learning to balance those two
July 30th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
It’s hard. Sometimes I don’t want to disappoint my family or friends. Credo make a good point. How about balancing those two? Because other people’s input is also important.
July 31st, 2008 at 9:07 am
This is a great post. Very insightful and true.
Parents do have a fixed idea of what they want their sons and daughters to be. That’s why some people’s relationships with their parents can be so hard and traumatic. You can spend so much of your life trying to get your parents, as well as other people, to just accept you for who and what you are, instead of what they want you to be.
And when it comes to those outside your family, there are those who will project onto your image what they need you to be based on their own insecurities and shortcomings. You can see this played out in life daily.
July 31st, 2008 at 11:40 am
well I supposed just be our self, but don’t forget we live with others, gitu kali ya pak
July 31st, 2008 at 11:49 am
Just be yourself … ini penting kata tetangga saya
July 31st, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Stop advertising and start innovating.
Isi lebih penting daripada kemasan, tho?
July 31st, 2008 at 2:06 pm
hemm.. probably be yourself is the best attitude, right ?
July 31st, 2008 at 10:18 pm
Great post. I find that son or daughter thing is exactly like dating these days. People want a man or woman, they don’t want a person, just an ideal or some creation of a man or woman they have in mind. Meanwhile they overlook all the people right there who could be wonderful.
August 4th, 2008 at 4:47 am
When people here ask pregnant parents whether they want a girl or boy the answer is almost always:
we don’t care, as long as it’s healthy.
So maybe having a fixes idea is a cultural matter.
Maybe I’m lucky that I saw each child as a precious gift.
But then again…I’m very accepting, very tolerating.
It’s a pity I’m just myself.
Other people have to deal with that.